Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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