It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
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We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
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I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I supernannyed him into submission
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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