Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
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All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
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when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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