She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
