I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
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