I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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