Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize