I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Who did Billy Mays play for?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize