More tranny stories later!
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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