So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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