Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
