the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
