I've blown a few things in my day
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
