Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
