I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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