Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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