I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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