8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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