Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
