that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
