Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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