i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
