Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
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I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
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I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize