physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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