The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
