Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
