The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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