I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
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