Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
