I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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