Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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