i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
