i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
