It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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