i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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