I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
