Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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