You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
did i walk over a car last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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