i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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