yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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