I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
