She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize