Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
