How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Sex with a fat chick.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.