I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
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They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
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Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me