Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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