It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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