smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
