I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
