I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize