I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
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