Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
