got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize