i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
why do cheetos always look like penises
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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