But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
