shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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