wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
