i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
