i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
